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Broken (part 4)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup


Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.


       

Firsttruelove

November 20, 2011 @ (california )

Tags: break up stories


his name was manny we were together for about a year and well then he ended up having sex with his bestie and i didnt know. stupid jerk. i dumped him.


       

Abby

September 21, 2009 @ (California)

Tags: California


i just got dumped.
i'm reading break up stories to try to chear me up a bit.
we had gone out for four monthes
and he told me i was really special and he loved me alot and never was gana leave me
then he dumps me on aim.
and he was real cold about it too.
as if i had cheated on him or somthing.
and i would never do something like that.
i know this story doesn't compair to urs.
but i know how u feel.